While in Joanns the other day, I saw two teenage boys in the scrapbook aisle. It was almost like I had fallen into some alternate universe. Two male teenagers? In Joanns? In the scrapbook aisle no less? Take cover! The sky is falling!

One of the guys asked an employee for help in picking out items to make a very basic scrapbook. She politely asked them if they were making a gift or buying for someone else. One of the boys replied that he wanted to ask a girl out to prom and since she’s really into scrapbooking, he thought she’d like the gesture.

*swoon*

Suddenly, I was annoyed with every ex-boyfriend I ever had. Where was MY scrapbook? Why hadn’t any of them spent hours crafting the perfect way to ask me out? This made me think back to all the gifts I received, good and bad.

The Good:
Recorded a love song on my answering machine when I went on a family vacation, so that it was the first message I heard once I got home.
A print of one of my favorite paintings, which also happens to coincide with a line from one of my favorite movies.
My favorite lipgloss, which had been discontinued and was impossible to find in AZ. He had a relative in California ship it to him.
A group of farce news clippings that documented all the funny things that had happened in our short relationship.

The Bad:
A poem that didn’t make much sense, which rhymed “Sara” with “lovely hair-a.”
A wallet made of duct tape.
A “mix tape” with only one song on it.
Because I liked cows, an ex gave me anything that had cows on it. Including a 1997 calendar…in 1999.

Dan’s lucky that his first gift to me was an iPod and the next was a Tivo. That man knows the way to my heart.

I pride myself on being a good person.

Please stop laughing.

I try to help others. I keep an open mind. I am overly nice to strangers and even those who are rude. I recycle. I make fun of Dan less than 50% of the time. Overall, I attempt to make a difference in the world, whether it be big or little changes. I do have a flaw though. (Shocking, I know.) I have a bad trait that I can’t seem to shake, no matter how much I try.

I love seeing videos of people falling down.

My favorite video of all time is the Corelle dishes video of a fashion show.

Corelle Commercial

It appears once a year or so and I laugh hysterically every time I see it. I may or may not have been known to pause Tivo, rewind and watch it again. I think it will never grow old. Dan however, disagrees. He’s pretty sick of seeing it.

So if you fall down when I’m around and I fail at keeping a straight face while helping you up, please don’t take it personally. It’s my one and only flaw.

Again, what’s with the laughing?

I’ve been driving more often than normal lately. Between rehearsals, production meetings, classes, group project meetings and my normal social life, I seem to be spending a lot of time in my car. Normally I have a very set routine when it comes to drives that take longer than 20 minutes.

Step 1 -  Turn on car and buckle seat belt. Safety first!
Step 2 – Plug in iPod.
Step 3- Begin blasting Britney, Owl City, or similar cheesy pop tunes.
Step 4 – Zone out until I reach my destination. Remain extremely alert throughout the entire trip.

This has been my routine for a long while and I rarely stray from it unless there is a passenger in the car. Recently though, I’ve taken some time to check out people in their cars. Don’t judge me. It’s fascinating what people will do when they have their car windows rolled up. It’s like they think the rest of the world can’t see them through the totally transparent glass.

I saw an SUV being driven by a teenager and full of his equally immature friends. They were all giggling as they watched a porn. In the middle of the day, in fact. Not that it would be ok at any other hour, but still…shouldn’t they have been in school or something?

A guy singing along to Mariah Carey, along with his female passenger. I automatically assumed he was gay, since he was even mimicking Mariah’s dance moves with extreme precision. Then the girl reached over and fondled him. It didn’t even phase him however, I’m going to need therapy.

A woman trying to take photographs of herself with her camera phone. I’m ok with the cheesy camera phone pic of yourself in a car. It’s the lack of concentration on the road that I was concerned with. Didn’t she realize she was going 65 on the freeway?

As I was waiting in the parking lot for a friend to arrive, a guy pulled up next to me. He immediately began to strip down, in a hurry to change out of his nicer clothes into something more casual. I turned my head to look out the other window, I found myself looking at the back of a guy’s head in the car on my right. He was obviously trying to eat the face of the girl sitting next to him, because there is no way that could be considered kissing. Totally confused about where I should look, I stared straight ahead of me. I have never been more fascinated by a concrete wall in my life.

At a stoplight, I casually look to my left to see a woman trimming her nose hair. Her window was rolled down and I was highly tempted to shout at her “I can see you!” You know, do my duty and give her a heads up.

When I told Dan the last story, he informed me that people have been shot for a lot less. Road rage is real, people. I think that instead of checking out what my fellow drivers are doing, I’m going to go back to my normal routine of dozing being a safe and courteous citizen on the road.