Example #1 – I tried to set up a close female friend with a customer from the gas station I worked at. He came in every night and we had struck up a friendship of sorts. I knew he had a job and a car, so he wasn’t a bum who would use her for her money. He was funny and nice, so I hoped he wouldn’t break her heart. I planned a group outing and was dismayed when during the night, she said she wasn’t interested. Plus, she was insistent that he liked me. Nope, she had to be dead wrong. My gut feeling was that he liked her. One year later, we got married.

Example #2 – When planning the wedding, my mom decided she would set up the friend from example #1 with the son of her best friend. No way, Mom. Those two would never get together! A year later, we were sitting at *their* wedding.

Example #3 – I was noticed how flirty two mutual friends were being. They spent a lot of time together and seemed to be really close. I couldn’t understand why they weren’t dating. When I approached my female friend, she said she viewed him as a brother and dating him would be too weird. When I approached my male friend, he also said dating her would be too weird since she was like a little sister. I was shot down before either gave it a chance. (For the record, I still think they’d make a cute couple. But, whatever. It’s not like they know best or anything.)

Example #4 – When lamenting to a friend about how my career as a matchmaker was crashing, he told me to pretend to introduce him to a mutual male friend. As I made my introductions between the two heterosexual guys who had been friends for years, they locked into an embrace. Success! Even if it had been their way of mocking me.

I take what I can.

One of the guys asked an employee for help in picking out items to make a very basic scrapbook. She politely asked them if they were making a gift or buying for someone else. One of the boys replied that he wanted to ask a girl out to prom and since she’s really into scrapbooking, he thought she’d like the gesture.

*swoon*

Suddenly, I was annoyed with every ex-boyfriend I ever had. Where was MY scrapbook? Why hadn’t any of them spent hours crafting the perfect way to ask me out? This made me think back to all the gifts I received, good and bad.

The Good:
Recorded a love song on my answering machine when I went on a family vacation, so that it was the first message I heard once I got home.
A print of one of my favorite paintings, which also happens to coincide with a line from one of my favorite movies.
My favorite lipgloss, which had been discontinued and was impossible to find in AZ. He had a relative in California ship it to him.
A group of farce news clippings that documented all the funny things that had happened in our short relationship.

The Bad:
A poem that didn’t make much sense, which rhymed “Sara” with “lovely hair-a.”
A wallet made of duct tape.
A “mix tape” with only one song on it.
Because I liked cows, an ex gave me anything that had cows on it. Including a 1997 calendar…in 1999.

Dan’s lucky that his first gift to me was an iPod and the next was a Tivo. That man knows the way to my heart.

Please stop laughing.

I try to help others. I keep an open mind. I am overly nice to strangers and even those who are rude. I recycle. I make fun of Dan less than 50% of the time. Overall, I attempt to make a difference in the world, whether it be big or little changes. I do have a flaw though. (Shocking, I know.) I have a bad trait that I can’t seem to shake, no matter how much I try.

I love seeing videos of people falling down.

My favorite video of all time is the Corelle dishes video of a fashion show.

Corelle Commercial

It appears once a year or so and I laugh hysterically every time I see it. I may or may not have been known to pause Tivo, rewind and watch it again. I think it will never grow old. Dan however, disagrees. He’s pretty sick of seeing it.

So if you fall down when I’m around and I fail at keeping a straight face while helping you up, please don’t take it personally. It’s my one and only flaw.

Again, what’s with the laughing?