Dan: I had a piece of cake today.
Me: For lunch?
Dan: No, someone quit. It’s her last day so we had cake.
Me: Oh, good. Cake is not a healthy lunch.
Dan: Maybe I’ll go have another piece.
Me: No, you should eat lunch first.
Dan: You can’t say no to me-you’re not here to stop me.
Me: I’ll be very sad if I find out that you had another piece.
Dan: You can’t be sad if you don’t know. I just won’t tell you that I had another piece.
Me: But what about when I ask you directly? Are you going to lie to me?
Dan: No, I just won’t answer. I’ll ignore you or change the subject.
Me: But then I’d know what the answer was.
Dan: Maybe I’ll distract you by offering you another kitten.
I learn something new everyday. Today’s lesson: Do not research feline intestinal worms while eating lunch.
Yes, I am a day late with this post about Britney Spears. Don’t care-”I do what I want!”
I’m sure you all know what kind of performance she gave. This is how I imagine a conversation would go between us, had I been there immediately after the show.
Me: Wow Britt…that was quite a show. I love the new song by the way!
Britney: This totally suxs ya’ll. Can I have a margarita?
Me: You probably shouldn’t drink immediately after dancing up a sweat. Here, have some water.
Britney: Where are my kids?
Me: With K-Fed, the same place they have been for the past 3 days. Listen Britney, focus now, ok?
Britney: I like this bra. Can I keep it?
Me: We’ll see. Seriously, focus for a moment. You need to reevaluate your life right now. You are a great performer and after seeing tonight’s performance, it doesn’t look like your heart is in it anymore.
Britney: Do the panties come with the bra? I totally like the bra ya’ll.
Me: Britney, you are a young woman who was forced to grow up very quickly. You lived your life in the public eye and I think it’s getting to you. You need to take a few moments to actually sit back and think if this is the life you really want. Your family is estranged from you, your ex-husband fears for your kids’ safety when they are with you, and all of the media thinks you have had a nervous breakdown. I am your friend Britt and I really think that you need to decide if show business is right for you. It’s all you know, but that doesn’t mean that it’s all you’ll ever know. You have the potential to do great things and it’s sad to see you in such a downward spiral.
Britney: My coochie needs to be shaved before I go to the clubs. Can you find one of them cute guy dancers for me?
Me: …I think I’m going to go buy a Team K-Fed shirt.
AUTHOR
- Welcome to Klick Here! This page is maintained by Sara, with a lot of emotional support from Dan. When he's not busy with World of Warcraft, of course.
