Dan: I have never seen that many people in the grocery store.
Me: This is why I don’t like going grocery shopping. It’s filled with people who are ticked that they have to fork over money for unprepared food.
Dan: Maybe we shouldn’t only go grocery shopping once every 3 weeks. That would probably save us some time.
Me: You’re right. I’m going to start being a good housewife and plan out our meals, go to the grocery store at least once a week and have dinner ready for you every night.
Dan: You realize most “good housewives” don’t work full time and go to school, right?
Me: Yeah, but you won’t let me quit my job to be a stay at home mom. Just because we don’t have kids yet.
Dan: I know. I’m so mean.
Me: For reals.

I had to laugh at myself this morning when I realized how spoiled I am by living so close to work. If I am not going in early or planning to stop somewhere on my way into work, I leave at 7:35am. I get to the freeway by 7:43 and pull into the parking lot at exactly 7:52am. It’s an exact science.
This morning, I left at 7:35 and took my normal route. I hit the freeway at exactly 7:43 like always and then proceeded to come to a dead stop. There was traffic and lots of it. I was going about 10mph most of the time, reaching a breathtaking high speed of 12mph during my trip. At 7:51, I was still 4 exits away from my office. My eye started to twitch. This was when I turned down the radio because the DJs’ voices were annoying me. I started drumming my fingers on the steering wheel and sighing loudly. This traffic jam was obviously put on this Earth solely for my torture. These cars were throwing off my routine on purpose, I was sure of it!
At 8am, I was still an exit away from work. By then, I had turned off my radio completely and was trying my hardest not to honk my horn. I never understood why people did that traffic jams. Yes, that will help the situation. The sound waves from honking magically clear all the other automobiles.
Anyway, so as I’m trying my hardest not to join fellow road-ragers I finally got close to my exit. I pulled into the exit lane and as I was blissfully driving with no other cars around me, I had my realization moment. I give myself 25 minutes to get to work, always making it in less time than that. The one day it takes me 30 minutes to get there and I almost throw a hissy fit. What happens when we move back to the East Valley and my commute is almost an hour? Or if we move to a major city like NYC and I have to take mass transit to work? I might have a meltdown the first day.
See. THIS is why I should be allowed to be a Lady of Leisure. Well, this and my skills at shopping, of course.

Me: I finally figured out what I’m going to get Dan for Valentine’s Day! I think I’m going to drop hints on the blog, just to drive him mad.
Coworker: Hints like what?
Me: It’s round *and* square. It would taste delicious but it’s not edible.
Coworker: Wow, good hints. And you’re right, that does describe it perfectly.
Me: I know. Mwah ha ha ha ha! I should call him and tell him to check the blog.
Coworker: But…doesn’t Dan have patience? Won’t he just smile at you and wait until Valentine’s Day?
Me: …
Coworker:…
Me:…You’re right. Stupid Husband. He spoils all my fun!