I had a long, gushy post written about how awesome my mother-in-law is. It went on and on about her sense of humor, her laid back nature and how approachable she is. It had funny stories about our conversations, the first time I met her and how strangers approach her just to tell her their life stories. Like, deathbed appropriate secrets that they’ve never shared with anyone. *THAT’S* how open and warm she is. It continues with praises about her courage and strength. I added some stories about how much fun she has with her grandchildren and her grand kittens. I waxed poetic about how I hear horror stories from everyone about their mother-in-laws and how overly grateful I am to have her as mine.

But as I tried to wrap up the blog post I realized that my words were just that. They were words about a remarkable woman who would never be comfortable with someone singing her praises. They were stories about a loving woman who doesn’t open her heart, it’s just naturally always open. The post was sappy and sentimental about a woman so amazing who you could not even imagine existed, unless you met her in person.

I am thankful that Dan entered my life and the event is so much sweeter knowing a woman like her is now part of my family.

Happy Birthday Mom! I hope you have a great birthday full of grandkids’ giggles!

This is post 296. I feel like I should do something to celebrate the upcoming 300th post. Or maybe I should just celebrate my 2 year blogaversary on June 18th? Either way, I need suggestions. What should I do to celebrate hitting a blogging milestone?

Every once in awhile, I am convinced that Dan does not realize how good he has it. My coworker Gina often says “poor Dan” when I tell her stories of our weekends, which leads me to believe that the rest of the world also does not know how lucky Dan is. For the record, here is a list of all the things I do for Dan out of the kindness and goodness of my heart. Some of them teach him important life skills, others are just because I love him.

- Sleep in the same room. Seriously, his snoring is loud. Ask anyone.
- Take bad photos of myself and post them as his laptop wallpaper to elicit a chuckle when he turns his computer on. I am especially proud of the recent shiny forehead one where my eyes are closed and it’s not entirely apparently that I am sober.
- Buy dog treats. He does not physically benefit from this per se, but he does now have 2 pups who are willing to do funny doggie dances when they think they are getting a treat. As long as no one in the room moves or tries to take a picture.
- I am a picky eater and allergic to everything I like. This forces him to be more creative with his cooking.
- That brings up the fact that I don’t cook. I am helping him fufill his dream of being a famous chef. He just doesn’t know yet that his dream is to be a famous chef.
- Collect craft supplies. The other day, he was on his way to take a final and couldn’t find a pencil. Bam! From my stash I produced one #2 pencil for him to use along with a wonderful smooth white eraser, and as a result he did not fail the class. I single handedly saved his educational career.
- When mosquitos bite me, I swell up like a lumpy balloon. When one gets into the house, Dan immediately goes into tracker mode to hunt it down and squish it. I bring out his natural hunter tendencies, thus helping him connect to his masculine side on a deeper level.
- I make him carry bags when we go out shopping. Arm workout!
- I ask repeatedly for a pony, just in case I manage to catch him at a weak moment. I am training him to be strong for when we have kids.
- I show him two different shirts, dresses, whatever and make him tell me which one looks better. I never accept the answer “both look good” because I know it’s a lie. I am teaching him to make decisions, trust his gut and to read my mind for the right answer.
- I do not know pop culture from the 80’s. This gives him at least one reason a day for which to look at me with disdain.
- I again ask repeatedly for a pony. Perhaps 2 ponies. This teaches him a lesson in patience.
- I make him go to Britney Spear concerts, in order to broaden his musical tastes.
- I make him watch crappy sitcoms and reality shows. This removes him from his tiny WOW bubble and immerses him in current pop culture.
- I make him call in the delivery order when it’s my turn to “cook.” This teaches him that life isn’t always fair and sometimes helps increase his comprehension of people with heavy accents.
- I don’t watch 18 Kids and Counting when he’s in the room. He can only stand so much of my addiction to bad TV. This is a sacrifice, especially when there’s a marathon on and one of them is about the eldest son announcing his wife’s pregnancy. Took me a week to finally get to watch it and I died a little on the inside.
- We have a silly handshake/fist bump thing we do. I am willing to do it in public, which shows you how much I love him.
- I let him pretend to threaten to punch me in the face. I know he never would and never could, but sometimes he likes to pretend that he has some control over my craziness. This often ends with me telling him that I am going to punch *him* in the face. Then he tells me to stop copying him. I tell him to stop copying *me*! And he finally sighs and remains silent. This teaches him that sometimes silence is golden and other times, maybe it’s just not worth the battle.
- I still make him drive everywhere, even though the doctor gave me the all-clear for my night vision. This allows him to embrace traditional gender roles.
- I swear up and down that our vacuum is broken, forcing him to fix the mysterious problem and continually test the vacuum. He eventually vacuums the entire house. This helps him shun traditional gender roles.
- I wrote funny blogs about him but don’t tell the entire internets all the *really* funny stuff he does. He would die of embarrassment.

Gina doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I think I deserve a cookie for all my hard work and loving dedication to my husband.